The Ups and Downs

Guys, parenting is hard. And when you add pregnancy hormones to the mix you feel like you are barely hanging on sometimes. I love my children with all my heart and I am so very grateful to be home with them, but man, they know how to push my buttons. Here it is not even 11am and I'm already frustrated. These three boys make me work. Don't they know I'm pregnant? Don't they know that even though I got a good night's sleep I'm still tired? Don't they know the laundry is piling up?

I think a lot of people think I'm crazy. You know how I know that? They tell me. Three little boys and you are having another one? The mood I'm in lately I may smack the next person to say I have my hands full. No kidding, you moron. I get it. And guess what, it's none of your business, but this precious little girl growing inside of me was a total surprise. Are you happy now? I have my hands too full to accurately predict my ovulation.

Ok, that's not nice. It is true, I do have my hands full. I'm overreacting but that's a side effect of pregnancy, right? Forgive me, people... I'm not always mean.

I guess I'm sort of scared. I can barely manage to keep my kids clean, happy, and somewhat behaving and keep my house looking like I make an effort to clean once in a while. Not to mention trying to be a good wife (which I'm failing at most days, especially with hormones keeping me bipolar) and trying to make myself presentable (I showered yesterday... I think?). It's hard. Plus I have three different kids with different needs and personalities. Maverick is whining for me to read him another book while Tuck is climbing his dresser again and Easton wants me to look at the puzzle he just finished, all in the same second while I'm trying to wash the stuck on food from the pan I made dinner in three nights ago.

And then the thought crosses my mind, I'm 22 weeks and have yet to actually take a belly picture. On the days I have showered and even have some makeup on I use the self-timer on my camera and capture my growing bump. Then I look through the pictures, cry and delete them angrily. What am I eating? The bump isn't the only thing growing...ugh!

Oh, and lets not forget the ridiculous case of poison sumac I've had for the past two weeks. That really helps me feel glamorous... itchy spots all over my face, neck, hand, thigh, and belly. Perfect.

So yeah, right now I am a pregnant, itchy, hormonal, frustrated mother of three who is already at my pregnancy-safe limit of caffeine for the day.  I don't even really have a point to this post, other than to whine I guess. I might as well whine, the rest of the people in my house are doing the same right now.

Then I look up from my computer and see the pictures I just put up on the refrigerator and I can't help but smile. How can I wallow in my misery when I look at the picture of my sweet three year old grinning ear to ear because he found worms! Or the latest ultrasound picture next to the gender reveal picture where I'm bursting with joy over hearing I finally am getting a daughter! Or the picture of my two twin troublemakers covered head to toe in mud and loving every minute of it. I may have frustrating moments, days, even weeks, but I love this life and am so grateful that it's mine!

Sometimes it's necessary for me to just write down all my frustrations to come around and realize how blessed I am. What am I whining about? My kids may be a lot of work but they are growing, learning, and loving life. I have a husband who busts his butt so I can stay home and still manages to have some energy after a 12 hour shift to show his family love. I have a healthy pregnancy free of any complications so far and her little kids bring me joy everyday.  And despite the two feet of snow on my lawn, it's almost spring, my favorite time of the year! (and not just because all the ice cream shops will open soon, even though that is a perk.)

So if you are frustrated like me, let it all out. Rant a little, then turn it around and look at all the positive in your life. I'm sure you can find something! I know I have more positives in my life than negatives. God is good, folks! Happy Friday.