Shortcomings of a Mother...

Do you ever feel like a train wreck of mother? Like, you love your children and protect them and all that, but you pale in comparison to the mothers on Pinterest doing crafts with their toddler while baby wearing their other child? Or the mom on Facebook who takes her kids to the park 3 times a week and does baby-and-me yoga every Saturday? I mean, good for her, but I'm just struggling to take a daily shower and keep 3 rambunctious boys alive and fed.

Yesterday, I put the twins to sleep and came out to my 2 year old who had taken an entire package of wipes and spread them across the living room floor. Later, one of the twins got a hold of a half eaten bag of Doritos, dumped them on the living room carpet, and ate a bunch before I caught wind. Both the twins have found the toilet and both have eaten a bug in the past two months. I swear, I watch them! But there are three, who insist on going in different directions. And no matter how many times I vacuum, they still manage to find something gross to eat. "Here's a ladybug, wonder what that tastes like!" Or "Mmmmm, mom's flip flop. Seems like a good teething toy!"  It's embarrassing to even type it all out, but I know for a fact that I'm not the only mom who has this issue. I mean, I've perfected the mouth sweep with my finger and I've found that a syringe of water will help rinse out a mouth full of dirt. That's gotta count for something, right?

It can be frustrating. And scary. If those things could happen in two seconds when I look way, what else could happen?! I know for a fact that I can do my absolute best at supervising and something could still go wrong. That's why I'm grateful to believe in a God that has my back, that watches over my children daily and has a plan for their lives. A God that sends his angels to guard them and a Holy Spirit to prompt me when something doesn't seem right. You know that split second where you decide to push the cup of hot coffee back a few inches further or out of the corner of your eye you notice some sort of choking hazard on the ground. Or when it gets way too quiet and you decide to go check on those little trouble makers. Some like to call it gut feelings or maternal instinct, but sometimes I think God has a lot more to do with it than we think. I think He is the one behind that little nudge to check and make sure you shut the propane tank off on the grill or didn't leave the basement door open.

Being a parent is tough, and there are a lot of ways to mess up. But I think leaning on God is the best way to go about it. He is to me what I am to my toddler... I go behind Easton cleaning up his mess, watching over him, and keeping him safe without him ever being aware of it. Like a child without a care in the world, we are unknowingly being watched, cared for, and protected by an Almighty God. That truth gives me such a sense of peace in this crazy journey of motherhood, which I feel like I fail at everyday.  He's got me.